These days, it seems like everyone is always trying to be someone else. I don’t mean literally (although there are times that I wouldn’t mind being Beyonce); rather, I’m struck by the amount that we all endeavour to shun our true selves and be like somebody else.
I’ve been thinking a lot over the past few weeks about what it means to be authentic; to be your true self. I’m currently on a personal journey to try and discover who Emma really is. Deep huh? Not that I’m unhappy with who I am as such. I just think that over the past couple of years, I’ve lost sight of who I am, what makes me happy, what drives me and what I want from life.
As much as I love blogging and social media, it can be the undoing of you sometimes. There’s so much room for comparison, for judging yourself against other people and doubting your decisions and path in life. I’m particularly susceptible to feeling like this, I always have been, and sometimes you can feel a bit foggy with all the pressure to be a certain someone, achieve a certain something, feel a certain someway.
Throughout my venture to discover my true self, I’ve been talking a lot to my friends about the idea of authenticity and being 100% yourself. I found that I’m not alone in how I feel; it seems that most of us struggle, at times, to be completely honest with ourselves and be totally real. The pressure from society to act or feel a certain way is baffling and is a pressure that I for one feel on a daily basis.
Enough is enough.
I want to start living every day as Emma: not the Emma that I think I should be or the Emma that I think others want me to be. In order to do that, I need to work out who that Emma is. It’s about working out what makes you happy, what makes you tick, what makes you excited and passionate about the future. I’m never going to be someone who loves going out clubbing for example: I’ve never really enjoyed it, always felt a certain anxiety about getting dressed up and walking into a club full of people much more confident than me. I would much rather have my girlfriends over for dinner or meet with them for a coffee and a chinwag. And that’s OK. I used to make excuses for feeling a certain way or not wanting to do a certain thing rather than just admitting “I DON’T WANT TO DO IT”.
Of course, sometimes there are occassions where you have to do things you don’t want to do. That’s life. But there are times where you don’t have to and you can afford to be 100% authentic and true to yourself. If people don’t like that, then tough.
When did we all get so scared to me ourselves? When did we start thinking that being honest to our true self was a bad thing, a mistake? Part of the problem, for me at least, is not knowing who that true person is. That’s why we fall into bad habits of taking bits of other people, people we look up to or are seemingly fabulous and successful, and try to implement those bits into ourselves. Sure, there are times where I look at someone and admire their strength, their dedication, their willpower and I could probably learn a lesson or two from them. But why push myself to the limit to be someone I’m just not? I’m never going to be a gym fanatic; I’m never going to be hugely confident; I’m never going to travel the world solo. And that’s OK. I’ve spent a lot time sabotaging myself for not doing or being those things but do you know what? IT’S JUST NOT ME. THAT’S OK.
I guess this rather rambly post is more a means to me getting a ton of crap of my chest about not being true to myself…so apologies for that. But I do hope that anyone that reads this who also struggles with figuring out who they are and what makes them tick can go away and try, just a little bit, to me more authentic. You’re you and you’re fabulous.