It’s been a while since I’ve blogged and I won’t lie, I’ve missed it.
I’ve not yet got into a routine or a schedule with my blogs; I’ve tried, believe me, to stick with certain publishing days but with a full time job, it’s hard to be organised sometimes.
One of the main reasons I’ve taken a little hiatus from blogging is because I’ve been away – I was lucky enough to be invited along on holiday by my parents to The Maldives aka True Paradise; an opportunity that Toby, my brother, his girlfriend and I weren’t about to refuse. I’ve been to the Maldives before but never with Toby and not to this island in particular and trust me: the only way to describe it was absolute luxury.
We stayed at the Lux* hotel in South Ari Atoll – The Maldives is made up of dozens of white sandy islands and this one in particular is known for its whale sharks, its amazing staff and its stunning sunsets. Lux* certainly didn’t disappoint – when our sea plane landed at lunchtime on Valentine’s Day (is there a more romantic place to spend it?!), we were completely blown away. The island was truly spectacular – crystal clear seas, soft white sand and the pinkest of sunsets.
What made this particular resort stand out to me was its quirks – each morning, the gardening team hid 25 ‘messages in a bottle’ around the island with a prize included in each such as a free massage or a bottle of bubbly; there was a hidden juice bar on the island where you could help yourself to the most delicious fresh, tropical juices you’ve ever tasted; there was even the cutest ice cream parlour that had new flavours every single day with naughty toppings.
It truly was a magical trip; every day was filled with snorkelling, sunbathing, reading, drinking (a lot of drinking), eating and laughing. One day of rain didn’t put a dampener on the holiday as we cosied up at one of our beach villas to play cards with cocktails in hand. Seriously, no amount of words or photos will truly capture the beauty of this place.
Whilst I was away, I did a lot of thinking. That’s the trouble with relaxing, lay-around holidays; it gives you time to think. I’d been feeling a little flat before I went away; life was stressing me out, my blog wasn’t going in the direction I wanted it to and I was feeling a bit lost. Comparison is the devil: we all look at other people’s blogs, careers, hobbies, lives, and wish we had what they have. It’s tough. And before I went away, I was seriously starting to doubt my ability as a blogger. I’m really small-time and am certainly not an established or professional blogger but it’s something I’m keen to explore. Yet with so many hundreds of thousands of other people out there writing blogs and creating content, it’s a tough nut to crack.
And then one day, whilst sipping on a mimosa (true story), I had this epiphany; does it matter that I’m just one of a hundred thousand? Does it matter that I might never be the superstar, super popular, super creative blogger that I aspire to be? Surely writing content should be about me, not about others. Not about living up to expectations or competing.
I am my own worst enemy. I have this awful habit of self-sabotaging so when something is looking bright in my life, there’s a little voice inside that tries to ruin that for me. Since coming home from paradise, I’ve been trying very hard to quash that voice. So whilst I might not be the worlds best blogger, I might not have the most Instagram followers and I might not be super organised with publishing content, I’m just gonna do it my way.
A lot has changed in my life over the past year – I’ve quit London life, bought a house, started a new job in my local town; I’ve lost a bit of weight, I’ve put on a bit of weight; I’ve lost touch with friends and have made brand new ones. I’ve seen new life enter this world and I’ve seen people I love go through the toughest of times. But rather than dwelling on ‘what if’, my new focus is ‘so what’; I can’t promise I’ll be a completely changed woman but it’s a good place to start.