I’ve been a little quiet of late. My blog’s not been updated with anything I’m super proud of since before Christmas, I’ve let my social media slip and I’ve just generally been hibernating away under multiple blankets among mugs of tea and a bunch of Netflix series’.
When I started this blog, I was so excited. Like, “three-year old let loose in the Disney Store at Christmas time” kinda excited. It’s something I’d wanted to do for a long time and after wimping out continuously, I finally plucked up the courage to launch Colour Me Copper. And to begin with, I loved every minute. Each time someone commented on a post or followed me on Instagram, a little wave of happiness went through me. To make it even better, I had friends and family texting, emailing and calling me to say how proud they were and how much they loved reading my posts. To say I was a happy bunny is an understatement.
And then something happened: I started to compare myself. Comparison is a dangerous sport and can be the undoing of anyone. I’d read blogs for years and had my favourites (Zoella, Carrie Brighton, Love Cats Inc to name a few) yet becoming a blogger myself meant that I discovered even more faves, and that’s where the problem started. I found myself spending hours scrolling through Bloglovin’ or Instagram looking at what other bloggers were doing and rather than enjoying my once-upon-a-time hobby, I found myself thinking things like “Why aren’t my photos like that?” and “How can I get as many Twitter followers as her?”. It was not good and ultimately left me feeling unmotivated, deflated and altogether a bit sorry for myself.
The problem with blogging is it’s such a saturated, busy market and one that’s been around for years. So when you’re a newbie, it can be a tad overwhelming. I’ve never been one of those (lucky) people that doesn’t care what others think. I’ve always been a people pleaser and what I wanted more than anything was for people to LIKE my blog. And that’s a lot of pressure.
So I took some time off. I went from spending every waking minute taking photos, manically making notes for upcoming posts and buying products to just sitting back and thinking about what direction I wanted to take my blog. Did I even want to carry on blogging if I was suffering with this much self-doubt?
Thankfully, the answer was YES. I do want to carry on. Why the heck wouldn’t I?! Blogging is such an awesome hobby and I love to write and take photos. If Colour Me Copper was no more, I think I’d regret it. So I’ve decided to not be so hard on myself (who else is singing Jess Glynne right now?!) and to give myself a break. I work 9-5 in digital marketing so I don’t have the time to spend hours and hours taking photos and writing content and building my profile and approaching PR companies. But that doesn’t mean I can’t be a good blogger. I’m going to take things at a pace that I’m comfortable with and write about stuff I love. And I’ll try extra hard (no promises though) to not compare myself as much. In fact, I want to become my own biggest fan. Arrogant perhaps but if I love my work and am proud of what I put out into the blogosphere, then maybe someone else will love it too?
Apologies for the rambly post – sometimes, a girl just needs to get some stuff off her chest.